Epiphany: what I've learned

Last semester I put all my energy into my design class and I focused all of my attention on execution for that class and the final products I developed. I spent nights playing and learning tricks to further my knowledge of the software. Over Christmas break, even though I hate to admit it, I spent hours in Panera Bread Co. in Little Rock buying only a cup of soup or a cup of tea, and spending hours upon hours on lynda.com learning teaching myself more of adobe creative suite. 

My month long Christmas break became a daily prep course that I had hoped would throw me into instant success for the rest of my life. Okay so that is a large stretch of the imagination and moderate sarcasm implied... but I thought I would have a leg up for my last semester. I quickly came down to reality... the reality that I am still learning... learning a lot, and I never need to have a closed mind. After harboring in self-pity and stress for the past three weeks and continuously telling myself that anything I do would never be good enough or perfect enough for the level of work I should be producing... blah blah blah -- I slapped myself in the face, metaphorically that is. This is exactly what happened during the first three weeks of my internship in New York this past summer. But once I looked deeper and stopped dwelling the most micro details, things started coming together. 

Even the best cover of Esquire Magazine has never been perfect on the first try. Drafts are necessary, as is development, critique and input from others. Each element is necessary in the progression of designing and becoming a better designer. 

Because of all of this, I have taken a step back and looked at my work I have produced in the past three weeks. Instead of designing with creativity, content, and passion, I was trying to do something completely different. Something that was easier, more manageable, or so I thought. I don't want to say I clearly bombed, but I've realized that nothing is going to be 100% right -- there is always a contradiction or something that someone will not agree with. "You can't please everyone... and you shouldn't die trying..." a concept I have always had trouble grasping. 

My excitement that began growing the day I toured Mizzou and found out about magazine design, is back. Putting aside my infinite to-do list and detail oriented personality, I'm challenging myself to have fun again and have reason behind my ideas and execution instead of the mere intention to please a handful of people. 

I look forward to seeing where this new outlook takes me and what ideas become real executions.